The return of the Cool Beans Podcast…

Back in July 2012 we released a podcast. It was our first podcast so we called it The Cool Beans Podcast – Episode I. Now, 7 months later, we’re releasing the 2nd podcast. This is one is called The Cool Beans Podcast – Episode II. Now we know a lot of you out there are jealous of our podcast-naming talents, but hey, some people are just born with skills, don’t beat yourself up over it.

Now, the first podcast was mainly nonsense and it had close to 2000 plays/downloads so we figured why the hell change the formula. In fact it gives us great pleasure to introduce another 45 minutes of nonsense for your thirsty ears to lap up. EXTREMELY GREAT PLEASURE.

Sure it may be nonsense but it’s still intellectual nonsense nevertheless (perhaps). Such a wide variety of subjects are tackled here it’s a wonder any of us haven’t been asked to appear as guests on Newsnight, Question Time or Blue Peter. Topics include consumerism, fitness, advertising, skin damage, the homeless, Sheffield trends, pets, fancy dress parties, speaking french and internet memes. And on top of all this the devilishly good-looking Jack Athey stops by to chat about his past, an online blogger reveals how you make the perfect cup of tea, Ham Pocket receive non-fan mail from a Mexican calypso act and Professor Terry Dix talks science.

You can subscribe to us on iTunes here. If you listen to/download the podcast you’ll make us very happy and you will be helping us combat our current afflictions (Dom – alcoholism, Andy – depressionism, Chris – fatbackism). Hell we may even manage to get the third one out before 2014. No promises though. We have busy lives to lead that include looking at dogs in costumes on the internet whilst wearing hot pants and guzzling pints of melted lard.

Anyway, enough waffle. Sit back, grab a beer and enjoy The Cool Beans Podcast – Episode II: Knocking About.

Big thanks to Alexis (Wet Nuns), Carling Extra (Temple of Coke) and Nigel Tu (Peking Comedy).

Even bigger thanks to Ed Donnellan AKA Gimpo who provided the jingles, music and many guest voices.

Much love. X

Interview & Session with Jack Athey…

On a cold and rainy afternoon sometime in early February, two men got together to interrogate one man over a series of bike thefts that occurred in the Commonside area. After the inquisition, the trio moved onto more light-hearted subjects, mainly the life and times of one Sir. Jack Cornelius Dave Nice Hair Athey the 3rd. Here’s a savagely edited transcription of what words were whispered on that day…

Chris Arnold (CA): In front of me I have the extremely talented and good looking Jack Athey. For those reading who haven’t heard of you, tell us a bit about yourself, tell us what you’re all about.
Jack Athey (JA): Well I’m from the woods in Sheffield. Not much there, lots of pubs and fields.

CA: Did you ever frequent these pubs?
JA: Not the pubs no, I’d frequent the woods.

Dom Kidson (DK): Would you be one of them people sat up a tree with a guitar, asking passers-by riddles?
JA: Yeah, I’ve done that before.

CA: Now you’ve been playing the Sheffield circuit since you were 16, playing the bars and pubs and such. You do know it’s illegal to enter these establishments after 8PM if you’re under 18?
DK: 7PM depending on licensing.
CA: Thanks Dom. Jack, how does it feel to be a criminal?
JA: It gives me a thrill. I love it.

At this point Jack smokes his third heroin cigarette in 20 minutes.

CA: Let’s talk about Jack’s positive traits. You make music? Who are some of your influences?
JA: There’s a group of people that I’d class as people who make me want to make music. Marvin Gaye, he’s the main one. Kurt Cobain, Roy Ayers, Gil Scott Heron, Bob Marley, Hendrix, just cool guys.

CA: Have you ever considered venturing out into other musical realms? Such as dubstep, death metal or pigfunk?
JA: Yes. But none of those ones.

Chris looks Jack up and down before pulling out a pocket mirror and gazing into his haggard, withered eyes. He turns to Dom, a shadow of a human being, and finally turns back to Jack.

CA: You’re quite young Jack, how old are you?
JA: I’m 21.
CA: I’m 24, how old are you Dom? 30-something?
DK: I’m 23.
CA: Really? Seriously? Wow. Anyway, we’re all getting to that point of our lives where we’re thinking about stuff. How do you feel about the stuff Jack? How do you feel about the stuff?
JA: Pretty damn awful.

CA: I consider you the Jimi Hendrix of our generation.
JA: Thanks.
DK: Chris Arnold’s the Fatty Arbuckle of our generation.

At this point Chris storms out of the room in floods of tears. He returns three days later in order to finish the interview. He’s gained 2 stone in ‘Ben & Jerry’s weight’, Dom and Jack haven’t moved.

CA: Have you got any gigs coming up?
JA: All the ladies and beautiful females in the world need to come to Dada Bar on Valentines Day where I will be your valentine. And my band, they’re all single. Four single pirates. Lonely soul singles club. Find me on Facebook and I might post statuses about my gigs in between all the sarcasm.

CA: If that’s not an invitation then I don’t know what is. Anything else to add?
JA: I’d like to shout out everyone. And to my guardian angel Samantha.
CA: Thanks Jack.
DK: Yeah, thanks. Can we be friends?

Jack Athey is performing here on the 14th of February.
The Cool Beans Podcast: Episode II is available here.
Here is a video of Jack performing My Place/Children of The Night at the Bowery, Sheffield. Bye.

A Bunch of Cool Beans Bangers…

Last week our latest mashup was featured on a much-loved bi-weekly blog thanks to a DJ/blogger/all round great guy called Spinforth. The plays went through the roof, the downloads maxed out and radio shows in places as far away as Germany and New Zealand played the track on their shows. If you still haven’t heard it yet, here it is below. Alternative download link can also be found here… (last spam I swear)

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So, in conclusion, nice one Spin. Big thanks from our end. If I ever meet you I’ll buy you a cold lager, or a vintage whiskey, or a J20, or whatever you fancy really (no bubbly, I’m not made of cash). Anyway, as a tribute to Spinforth, Ghetto Funk, the Hong Kong Ping Pong Club et al and their dedication to scouring the internet in finding the funkiest, bounciest, free-est beats around and compacting them into an easy-to-digest online party page we’ve decided to do our own one-off collection of our favourite party tracks available on Soundcloud. All free (legally), all good times.

Let’s kick it off then!

First up, Mr. Sam Redmore. Creator of some of the finest mixes on the web and occasional mash-up artiste supreme. The snoooooooooooooops are fairly regularly rinsed by DJs but this is certainly one of its better outings. Very nicely layered over the top of Premonitions by the Friendly Fire Band, it’s a guaranteed skank-a-starter.

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A.Skillz is an absolute breaks don, someone I’ve always wanted to put on at a Cool Beans event but his busy schedule has yet to allow it (and of course not to mention our busy schedule that includes writing blogs, drinking melted lard and visiting A&E with Dom Kidson). Fingers crossed he can pop in for a party soon though. In the meanwhile here’s a tune you’ve probably all heard at some point, now you can hear it again!

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You already know how much we love Slamboree. Mike Freear’s band of merry men and women always bring a smile to any nearby faces, even if said faces just received some distressing news, like their dog has slipped a disc or they’ve just been diagnosed with a severe bout of genital dandruff. Now, would Prokofiev himself have enjoyed this rendition of Dance of the Knights? We’d like to think that he would have…

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Sticking with the theme of classical anthems (that’s right anthems, you’d go mad if you heard The Nutcracker in club) with a modern twist here’s Skeewiff‘s reggae-fied take on Johan Pachelbel’s Canon in D. Phenomenal work. Don’t know too much about Skeewiff apart from he seems to nail every single genre he takes on. Country, swing, funk, breaks, the lot.

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Sheffield heads now. Written and sung by K.O.G., featuring an appearance from Carlito Blacks and produced by Squire of Gothos and Off Me Nut don Tich. The result is a storming reggae/jungle banger. Whack it on a large sound system and run around in a circle.

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Time for some moombahton now. Big fans of the more subtle, less brostep orientated stuff. Even bigger fans of moombahton remixes of disco classics. Therefore please feel free to sink your teeth into Hungary head Kovary‘s take on You Sexy Thing. First heard it being played in Sheffield by Mr. Stu, gotta credit him otherwise he’ll break our legs.

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Up next are Leeds lads the Jenova Collective, transforming Monroe’s version of Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend into an absolute electro-swing-bassline-wobbly banger. I played this out at Beaverfest in the autumn and it turned out Kieran from JC was in the crowd. What were the odds? we cried. Such a humorous coincidence! we andecdoted. How funny! we laughed.

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Another Leeds resident, this time it’s mashup king Ocelus. He’s got a whole batch of good time tracks available on his Soundcloud, and we mean really good times. This one is a highlight though, pushing the mashup staple past an instrumental and acapella by utilising both musical scores from these Cure and Bob Marley tracks. Nice one Ocelus! Grrreeeeeaaatttt!

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Ever wondered what a ukulele version of Celebrity Big Brother contestant Coolio’s ode to being a bad man gangster sounded like? No? Well I think you need to give that brain of yours a swift kick in the imagination department. Yes? Here you go, no need to kick yourself in the head.

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An extremely calming XX track transformed into a mid tempo house track courtesy of the DJ’s DJ Oneman. From a man who time and time again proved himself as an amazing DJ he’s now proving himself as a producer. This track is very nice indeed.

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Over the years DJ Twister has taken a whole bunch of tunes and transformed them into something I like to call swing ‘n’ bass. Whether he calls them that as well is another question. We have in fact never spoken to one another. Either way I haven’t come across a DJ Twister swing ‘n bass track that I haven’t liked, and this Jimmy Liggins effort is no different.

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More breaks now. No synth though. Pure funk. And this track is very funky. Funkier than James Brown slapping a bass guitar and shouting FUNKY at the top of his voice. No one’s gonna be accusing Stickybuds of being not funky now are they? ARE THEY?!

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The Heatwave are very good at taking an already certified banger and adding some vocals over the top. It may sound simple, but if anyone’s heard my attempt at adding vocals over Pray by Take That you’ll be aware that the task ain’t no walk in the park. Here’s the massive Higher Ground put through the Heatwave blender.

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Hey it’s not just DJs releasing free tunes on the old world wide web, bands are at it as well! Here’s Cool Beans favourites Smiling Ivy with a track from the EP before their latest EP – Bombscare. Bass, guitar, drums, bongos, a man singing words. This track ticks all our boxes.

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DJ and producer Gramtik a few weeks back on Facebook:

Life is all about compensation. For example, I’m great at making music but I went bald at 23

Wise words indeed, we can all learn a lot from Gramatik, and he’s certainly very good at making music. Follow his social media sites for more philosophical one liners and banging tunes. Here’s his incredible reworking of the Beatles classic Don’t Let Me Down.

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Picking up when Sam Redmore left us (just in this blog we mean, Sam’s still DJing and producing), it’s now time for some more reggae/hip hop mashup fodder. This one is courtesy of the man they call Jstar. Jammy’s Sleng Teng riddim and Mims’ This Is Why I’m Hot never sounded so good!

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What the hell hey, one more reggae/hip hop mashup. They are a good time after all. This one is from Tenoshi, who manages to take one of the more aggressive hip hop anthems and turn it into something pretty much well, beautiful. I’m welling up just listening to it. It’s still pretty aggressive, sure. Just less so.

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Sped up Ludacris acapella, the guitar lick from Brown Eyed Girl and womp-enfused drum and a bass line running underneath. This is a very silly song indeed. Incredible, but silly.

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If the last song was simply too silly for you, I’m not sure you should listen to this one.

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Now time for something serious.

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There you have it, a bunch of Cool Beans Bangers. All available for free download at the time of writing. Make sure you “like’, “share”, “comment” and “send underwear in the post” if you enjoyed the tunes. Artists get a buzz from compliments, there’s no hiding it. Someone complimented me on the drawing of the frog I drew on my thigh the other day. It made my week I tell thee. Now scram!

Love Chris. X