The Cool Beans Awards 2013!

It’s that time of the year again! That’s right, it’s May. It’s May and it’s also time for the annual Cool Beans Awards of which this is the first (and most probably last) list of winners!

BEST LIVE BAND
Beach Boys

BEST DEAD BAND
Ham Pocket

ALL ROUND GREAT GUY
Tom Lange

ALL ROUND GREAT GUY WITH A VAN
Sam Staton

SECOND ALL ROUND GREAT GUY WITH A VAN
Ash White

BEST PARTY
Church of the Militant Elvis Party (now defunct)

BAND MOST LIKELY TO INVITE A FEW LADS BACK FOR A SAUNA PARTY
Smiling Ivy

BEST FOX
Jez the Fox

FATTEST BACK
Chris Arnold

HAIRIEST MAN
Olly Galvin

LEAST HAIRIEST MAN
Hal O. Pecia

CELEBRITY WHO HAS HAD THE MOST INFLUENCE ON COOL BEANS
Bonnie Tyler

BEST WASHING MACHINE BRAND
Hoover

BEST SHEFFIELD VENUE
The Basement

BEST PLACE TO MEET FRIENDS
On the internet

BEST POET
Cliff Shearsmiff

BEST LIST OF AWARDS
This one

VILLAIN OF THE YEAR
El Krazy Kat

BEST MOTORBOAT
The one that doesn’t get anyone arrested

BEST BAR STAFF
Oliver Gillespie

SECOND BEST BAR STAFF
Drew Garber

MOST OUTRAGEOUS TURKEY
Steve the Turkey

BEST TV SHOW
Points of View

BEST CELEBRITY DEATH
Mufasa

HUNGRIEST HIPPO
John the Hippo

BEST DRIED FRUIT
Prune

BEST NIGHTCLUB CLEARANCE
Arnivore in Two Hoots Nightclub, Scotland

TASTIEST BOOZE
Special Brew

BEST MAN WHO ONLY LISTENS TO JUNGLE MUSIC OR SWING MUSIC
Tim Walker

BEST DJ
DJ Fine Wine

SECOND BEST DJ
DJ Pale Ale

THIRD BEST DJ
The Meekatron

BEST SYMPHONY
Bach – Symphony In G Major

BEST UNSEEN BEAN
The Unseen Bean

BEST ADVOCATE FOR FATHERS OF JUSTICE
Barry the Horse (divorced)

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Darren, aged 2

and finally

REAR OF THE YEAR
Andy Enchilada

but also…

REAR OF THE YEAR
Dom Kidson

Interviews with the winners, behind the scenes footage, award acceptance speeches, close-ups of the awards, photos of the winners wearing swimwear and so much more to come. Stay tuned!

Now Then Listings – May 2013

A HEARTFELT MESSAGE FROM CHRIS ARNOLD, THE GUY WHO DOES THIS:
After last month’s spectacular 1 year of The Cool Beans/Now Then Listings Column celebrations (which included 3 beers, 2 packs of dried apricots and a frankly riveting game of Buckaroo) I feel the euphoria and sense of achievement must have gone straight to my head. Those who saw my misspelling of the word ‘retrospective’ last month will know what I’m talking about. I apologise profusely, I mean really profusely. I’m in fact so ashamed of myself that I’ve enlisted the talents of local lad and Puzzled head honcho Mr. Jimmy May to help me provide the monthly goods from now on…

AN APPRECIATIVE EAR NIBBLE FROM JIMMY MAY, CHRIS’S NEW PERSONAL ASSISTANT:
An avid fan of Now Then magazine since I realised it was free and the pictures look really great on my bedroom wall – and realising the articles warmed my insides like a half spoon of Covonia, It’s a pleasure to climb aboard and I’m looking forward to some intense games of Buckaroo. And probably talking about upcoming events somewhere between the dried apricots & alcohol, which in fact would be a great name for an Oasis song…

SHEFFIELD SOUND.
1st MAY / GREEN ROOM / FREE.

Bringing a plethora of new live music talent to the live music table every month, Sheffield Sound sets up a live music residency in their live music venue of choice – the Green Room.
LINK

DISCLOSURE PRESENTS…
2nd MAY / OCTAGON / £12.

These young producers return to Sheffield after an incredible six months, this time bringing mainstream chart success. The night also features the deft talents of Cyril Hahn, the Canadian of the moment alongside T. Williams, Zed Bias and of course the more than capable Tuesday Club residents.
LINK

ASHANTI BEATS.
3RD MAY / PENELOPES /£4.

We The Undersigned, Dnae & The Indigo Project and DJ Ocelus all guest at the final Ashanti Beats prior to summer festival madness. We The Undersigned themselves are fresh from supporting Toots and the Maytals, The Skatalites and The Apples.
LINK

THIRSTY EAR 8th BIRTHDAY.
4th MAY / THE HARLEY / £3.

The Thirsty Ear lads celebrate an incredible eight years of music and rum. The funky occasion sees Mr. Thing returning for a headline set of magnitude proportions. Congrats Powlo, Easty et al!
LINK

DE:BUG 2ND BIRTHDAY.
5th MAY / FEZ CLUB / £15.

Another birthday! This time youngsters De:bug celebrate 2 years of big parties by bringing The Martinez Brothers, Dan Ghenacia, Crazy P & WOLF Music all on one terrific jam-packed line up.
LINK

OSCILLATE WILDLY.
11th MAY / HOPE WORKS / £12.

The OW have arguably grown too big for their DQ roots and have set up a new bass-driven camp down the road at Hope Works. Step up Jimmy Edgar, Bicep and Delroy Edwards!
LINK

GENTLEMAN’S DUB CLUB.
18th MAY / LEADMILL / £12.

Quite simply one of the most energetic and exciting live acts in the current music scene. Dub/reggae/ska purveyors Gentlemen’s Dub Club return to Sheffield as part of their most recent escapade around the UK – The Riot Tour.
LINK

BONOBO.
21st MAY / PLUG / £15.

With over a decade of releases under his belt, this fellow’s latest musical smattering “The North Borders” offers his usual fine blend of funk, jazz and incomparable vocals. A live show not to be missed! Check out latest single “Cirrus” & 2009’s “The Keeper” if unsure what to expect.
LINK

MR. SCRUFF.
23rd MAY / LEADMILL / £8.

Back across the Pennine’s for another edition of his infamous “Keep It Unreal” evenings, Mr. Carthy (AKA Scruffington, a former student of Sheffield Hallam’s Psalter Lane arts campus) shall be seamlessly blending vinyl hits all night long.
LINK

VEGETARIAN EVENING.
25th MAY / SHOWROOM CINEMA / £25.

A chance to sit back, relax and let your taste buds be tantalised beyond repair courtesy of a menu cooked up by one of the Vegetarian Society’s Chef of the Future finalists for 2013, Mr Jonathan Tite.
LINK

NEIL MCSWEENEY.
26th MAY / QUEENS SOCIAL CLUB / £8.

Local crooner Neil McSweeney is releasing his latest EP and in his own words “It will be large.” Always a good night down at Queens – bands, DJs and even a raffle are all additional possibilities.
LINK

JOE DRISCOLL & SEKOU KOUYATE.
27th May / LANTERN THEATRE / £16.

Sharing no common language bar the language of music, Joe and Sekou first bonded in the southern French town of Marseille. Nowadays they tour the Earth fusing together their unique medley of afrobeat, folk, hip hop and reggae.
LINK

J*STAR.
31st MAY / THE HARLEY / £4.

King of the reggae-mashup-culture, J*STAR pops in to the Harley for a rare Sheffield outing as part of the launch of new night Quality Control. Support comes in the form of Andy H, Clipboard and Arnivore.
LINK

That’s it for this month. You all better take care now. Also, improve your life vastly by hitting up the Now Then website here. Also, to proof that we actually attend events instead of just sitting here writing about them here’s a video of last month’s Cool Beans….


Cool Beans Presents: King Porter Stomp

After our double headed beast of a bank holiday mad one at the Bowery/Leadmill last month, we are back with our second show of 2013 and it’s occurring at another venue with no prior beans history – The Riverside. Even though this party shack sits slightly out of the hustle bustle of the mean city streets, it’s recently become synonymous with incredible live music, delicious real ale and foot-stompingly good nights.

We for one, can not flipping wait.

KING PORTER STOMP

Festival favourites and true party starters, King Porter Stomp blend ska, funk, afrobeat and hip hop to create a genuinely original, natural fusion of styles. The 8 dedicated members were called to Brighton from very different backgrounds and musical persuasions and first played together in Autumn 2006. Fast forward a few years, they’ve pulled on heart strings and won over the dancing feet of crowds across the UK and into Europe.

With big horns, heavy bass and delicately crafted and deeply conscious lyrics, King Porter Stomp have quickly established themselves as major players on the UK summer festival circuit. The high energy eight piece have already rocked stages at Glastonbury, The Big Chill, The Secret Garden Party, The Big Green Gathering, Eden Festival and Ireland’s Electric Picnic.

Energising, a blast! – THE INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY
Ska, dub and hip hop treats – TIMEOUT MAGAZINE
Enjoyably raucous – EVENING STANDARD

We are ecstatic to be bringing the band to Sheffield for the very first time.

www.kingporterstomp.co.uk

SMILING IVY

Explosive. Outspoken. Devilishly good-looking. Smiling Ivy perform an energetic fusion of ska, dub-reggae, punk and hip-hop. They effortlessly clash activism & hedonism on their records and offer fans an astute, socially-aware observation of the times all the while creating danceable, floor-filling music.

The Ivy retain enough power and aggression to be an active fixture in the UK’s rock scene but with reverberations of dub-reggae, funk, and hip-hop they also remain an illustrious figure in Yorkshire’s urban, rave and party scene.

You may have caught them showcasing their sounds at a multiple of summer festivals or performing alongside such acts as The Selecter, Dub Pistols, Zion Train, Frank Turner, The Correspondents and even Frankie Boyle. This gig is the only Sheffield date of their UK Spring Tour, which will see them play up and down the island in April/May.

www.smilingivy.co.uk

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SPIT N STRINGS

Sit back, relax and let acoustic these hip hop pioneers take you on a journey that will touch every sensory nerve in your body, apart from the disappointment nerve. Tom and James AKA Spit and Strings have been preaching their sounds for a few years now and with the recent addition of a full band their show has never been better. The band are however away for this show so the duo will be performing an intimate stripped down version of their current set. A rare treat.

www.myspace.com/spitnstrings

CARL “ON FIRE” WATKINS

A local legend ’round these parts, you may think you know Carl but well think again baby. And then think again after that. An integral piece of the Sheffield puzzle, when he’s not on fire Carl spends his time being the backbone in multiple acts and associations. For example – Peace in the Park, Jungle Lion, K.O.G & The Allstar Revolution, Banana Flavoured Dubcats, Jumping Wizard and loads more.

https://soundcloud.com/carl-dubcats

+ DJs UNTIL LATE

The Riverside are getting a special late license in from this one so we can continue the party long after King Porter Stomp have finished rocking it. Audible treats shall be provided by Arnivore, Crazyleaf, Lonesome Dom and Tony motherflipping Mulaga. Think reggae, balkan, electro-swing, ska, funk, hip hop, rave, coconut step and you’re only half way there.

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IF THE WEATHER IS NICE…

We’ll be taking some of the fun onto the delightful Riverside beer patio which overlooks the river. Acoustic acts, games and even the return of the gone-but-not-quite-forgotten Cool Beans enigma that is the Twister Mat shall all be making an appearance.

A FINAL FEW WORDS…

It’s also going to to be the last Cool Beans party before the summer frivolities kick in. This year we’re organising line ups for Tramlines, Peace in the Park and Broomhill Festival and DJing at about 15 other festivals all over the UK. This little shindig shall be the perfect send off!

Doors at 7PM / £3 before 8PM / £4 after 8PM
The Riverside, 1 Mowbray Street, Sheffield
Saturday the 27th April 2013

Facebook Event here. Get involved people!