The Cool Beans Awards 2013!

It’s that time of the year again! That’s right, it’s May. It’s May and it’s also time for the annual Cool Beans Awards of which this is the first (and most probably last) list of winners!

BEST LIVE BAND
Beach Boys

BEST DEAD BAND
Ham Pocket

ALL ROUND GREAT GUY
Tom Lange

ALL ROUND GREAT GUY WITH A VAN
Sam Staton

SECOND ALL ROUND GREAT GUY WITH A VAN
Ash White

BEST PARTY
Church of the Militant Elvis Party (now defunct)

BAND MOST LIKELY TO INVITE A FEW LADS BACK FOR A SAUNA PARTY
Smiling Ivy

BEST FOX
Jez the Fox

FATTEST BACK
Chris Arnold

HAIRIEST MAN
Olly Galvin

LEAST HAIRIEST MAN
Hal O. Pecia

CELEBRITY WHO HAS HAD THE MOST INFLUENCE ON COOL BEANS
Bonnie Tyler

BEST WASHING MACHINE BRAND
Hoover

BEST SHEFFIELD VENUE
The Basement

BEST PLACE TO MEET FRIENDS
On the internet

BEST POET
Cliff Shearsmiff

BEST LIST OF AWARDS
This one

VILLAIN OF THE YEAR
El Krazy Kat

BEST MOTORBOAT
The one that doesn’t get anyone arrested

BEST BAR STAFF
Oliver Gillespie

SECOND BEST BAR STAFF
Drew Garber

MOST OUTRAGEOUS TURKEY
Steve the Turkey

BEST TV SHOW
Points of View

BEST CELEBRITY DEATH
Mufasa

HUNGRIEST HIPPO
John the Hippo

BEST DRIED FRUIT
Prune

BEST NIGHTCLUB CLEARANCE
Arnivore in Two Hoots Nightclub, Scotland

TASTIEST BOOZE
Special Brew

BEST MAN WHO ONLY LISTENS TO JUNGLE MUSIC OR SWING MUSIC
Tim Walker

BEST DJ
DJ Fine Wine

SECOND BEST DJ
DJ Pale Ale

THIRD BEST DJ
The Meekatron

BEST SYMPHONY
Bach – Symphony In G Major

BEST UNSEEN BEAN
The Unseen Bean

BEST ADVOCATE FOR FATHERS OF JUSTICE
Barry the Horse (divorced)

LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Darren, aged 2

and finally

REAR OF THE YEAR
Andy Enchilada

but also…

REAR OF THE YEAR
Dom Kidson

Interviews with the winners, behind the scenes footage, award acceptance speeches, close-ups of the awards, photos of the winners wearing swimwear and so much more to come. Stay tuned!

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